Nefarious
by Follow-The-Firefly
Summary: NaruDei. Naruto wasn't supposed to get kidnapped. That's why Deidara had to rescue him...rated T for some strong language. slight shonen-ai


**Disclaimer: I only own the plot. Who else would be crazy enough to write this?**

**It's Mika-chan! This is my second shot at NaruDei. This goes out to black55widow. I hope this is what you wanted! let the deadly tale begin!**

Konoha was a peaceful village that night. The stars shone brightly in the midnight sky, the air was silent and calm, a gentle wind blew the trees…all was well.

Uzumaki Naruto, however, didn't notice these things. He, like many of the other villagers, was fast asleep.

None of the villagers were prepared for the kidnapping of this teenager.

The door to Naruto's apartment opened ever so quietly, so a riot wouldn't begin. Two figures stepped through the door, each wearing a black cloak with ominous red clouds. One of the members had a crimson scythe in his hand, whilst his partner's face was almost entirely covered, save for his eyes.

The Akatsuki was going to strike again.

"Hurry the fuck up, Kakuzu." Hidan sighed. "I would like to get some praying done tonight."

"We would be going faster if you helped, Hidan." Kakuzu said as he lifted the sleeping blonde out of bed.

"Yeah, whatever." Amethyst eyes rolled to the ceiling as Hidan bound Naruto's feet and hands and gagged his mouth. "Let's get back already. Leader-sama can't yell at us this time."

So the two Akatsuki left the apartment, Kakuzu carrying the sleeping Uzumaki. Hidan, scythe in hand, was simply walking faster than his partner, trying to get to the Akatsuki lair as soon as possible. He wanted to pray sometime that night and he wouldn't if Kakuzu kept going as slowly as he was.

"Speed it up, 'kuzu!" Hidan exclaimed. "Seriously!"

"I can't 'speed it up' when I'm carrying our bounty." Kakuzu's eyes became slits as he glared at the Jashinist.

"He's not a bounty, Kakuzu." Hidan said, tracing a scar along his neck.

"Once we use him and kill him, we'll give his body back to Konoha for burial." Kakuzu said. "And we'll make them pay."

"How much?" Hidan knew he would hear it anyway.

"I haven't decided yet." Kakuzu shook his head.

"Shouldn't you by now?" Hidan gave a rare smile.

"Leader-sama will want a say in this too." Kakuzu said.

Hidan rolled his eyes and said, "Yeah, I know."

* * *

When Deidara woke up, he figured it would be a regular day. He'd eat breakfast, make some works of art, eat lunch, spar with Sasori, stop Kisame from causing another power outage, clean up the blood Hidan left on the walls from his praying sessions, make more works of art, eat dinner, play _Guitar Hero_ with Konan and go to bed.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

When he left the room he shared with his partner, Sasori, Deidara saw a blonde, tied and gagged, leaning against the wall by the door. It took Deidara a while to recognize the blonde as Uzumaki Naruto, but when he did, Deidara wondered why he was here. More importantly, how did the host of the Nine Tailed Fox get here? Deidara wasn't aware of Pein giving anyone the mission to capture the teenage ninja.

He walked over to the kitchen to find Hidan drinking a glass of sakè and reading the newspaper. How he obtained said newspaper, Deidara had no idea.

"Hidan, did you bring Naruto here, un?" Deidara asked the Jashinist as he unwrapped a cherry Poptart and bit into a corner.

"Last night." Hidan nodded. "Kakuzu took as long as a fucking snail."

"Doesn't he always?" Deidara smiled. "But why did you bring him back?"

"Leader-sama wants to extract the Nine Tailed Fox." Hidan replied. "But first he wants to torture him."

"Torture him, un?" Deidara frowned. "How?"

"I think Kisame's going to waterboard him or something like that." Hidan took another drink of his beloved sakè.

"Why would we torture him, un?" Deidara didn't understand what Hidan was telling him. "If we torture him, we could kill him. And we need him alive to extract the Nine Tailed Fox, un."

"Hey, I was just following orders, Deidara." Hidan shrugged.

"I know, I know." Deidara said. "But couldn't we do it without torturing him, un?"

"Torturing who?"

Sasori walked into the living room and stared at the sleeping Uzumaki.

"Who's this?" the Puppet Master questioned.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Deidara said.

"Host of the Nine Tailed Fox." Hidan took another drink of sakè.

"It's about time we caught him." Sasori ran his fingers through his flaming hair. "Who caught him?"

"Kakuzu and me." Hidan said.

"You mean to say that you two _weren't_ having sex so loudly that the Fins could hear it?" Sasori's eyebrows were raised in disbelief.

"We're not that loud." Hidan retorted.

"Yes, you are, un." Deidara bit into his Poptart.

"So when are we gong to extract the Beast?" Sasori didn't like waiting for very long. Deidara, as his partner, had had all too much experience with that.

"Whenever Leader-sama and Konan get back." Hidan shrugged.

"But Zetsu isn't here, un." Deidara told the Jashinist.

"Whatever." Hidan rolled his amethyst eyes.

* * *

Naruto groaned, opened his ocean eyes and immediately took notice of the unusual surroundings. Where was he? This wasn't in Konoha, he was sure of it. Looking around, he saw three figures in the room. One had silver hair and amethyst eyes, the second had red hair and looked slightly annoyed at the third, who had long blonde hair tied in a ponytail and an eyescope covering one of the grey eyes. The black cloaks gave it away.

They were Akatsuki.

One of them, the amethyst-eyed one, noticed that he was awake and said, "Looks like he's awake. Should I get Kakuzu?"

"Don't bother, Hidan." The redhead said. "We're going to kill him soon enough." He turned to the blonde and said, "Deidara, wanna use some works of art on him?"

"Why waste art on a kid, un?" the blonde, apparently named Deidara, said.

"He's not much younger than you." Hidan said.

"Not really, un." Deidara turned to the redhead and said, "Sasori no Danna, why don't you use some of your art, un?"

"Are you feeling ok, Deidara?" Sasori gazed sceptically at the blonde.

At first, Naruto thought that the Akatsuki ninja were going to kill him on the spot, so he tensed his body for a powerful blow from any of the three ninja. When the blow didn't come, however, he relaxed a bit and he realized that the Akatsuki had gone back to ignoring him. He had thought that the blonde was a girl since the blonde hair was so long. Naruto had been forced to change his mind, however, when he heard the voice that couldn't have come from a girl.

"So I'm gonna go wake Kakuzu now." Hidan said.

"Just be quiet about it this time." Sasori said as Hidan retreated to a room. "I guess I'll go work on puppets. Wanna come with, Deidara?"

"Nah, I'm gonna play _Kingdom Hearts_." Deidara shook his head.

And with that, Sasori left as well, leaving Naruto and Deidara alone. Deidara stared at the younger blonde for a moment before he went over to the plasma screen TV on the other side of the room, turned on the PlayStation, and started playing his video game.

Naruto immediately started thinking of ways to escape. He couldn't really do anything at the moment. Whoever had bound him had done it very well. He couldn't move his hands much at all. He couldn't yell for help because a thick black cloth prevented him from uttering nay noise. So what was left to do?

After a few moments, Deidara shut off the game system and turned to face the younger blonde. Naruto tensed in a matter of seconds, preparing himself for whatever was to come from this dangerous Akatsuki.

"So you're Uzumaki Naruto, huh?" Deidara smiled.

Naruto tried to make some form of communication, but that was hard to do since his hands were bound and his mouth was gagged.

"Oh, I guess Hidan tied you up so you couldn't escape, un." Deidara said. "But he didn't need to gag you, too, un."

Walking over to the Uzumaki, Deidara untied the gag from the mouth and Naruto started rambling off, going seemingly at ninety miles an hour.

"What do you think you're doing? You can't just kidnap me! I bet the whole village is out looking for me right now and just you wait what happens when I tell them that you've kidnapped me!"

"You sure like to talk, don't you?" Deidara smiled. "But I don't really want you to be here, un."

"And what's with that weird speech?" Naruto demanded.

Deidara ignored this comment and continued.

"I don't know if you know this or not, but my leader wants to torture you before we kill you, un." Deidara informed the younger blonde.

"Kill me?" Naruto gasped. "Torture?"

"The Akatsuki needs your Nine Tails, Naruto, un." Deidara said. "I really don't want to kill you, though."

"Then why did you bring me here?" Naruto growled.

"I didn't." Deidara shook his head. "That was Hidan and Kakuzu." He fell silent for a moment, trying to think of a way to escape with Naruto without anyone noticing. Of course, his disappearance would be noted as well as Naruto's. "Maybe I can bust you out of here, un."

"What are you _really_ going to do?" Naruto hissed, not believing Deidara for an instant.

"I'm going to get you out of here." Deidara said as he untied the roped that bound the Uzumaki's hands and feet. "Or do you want to remain captive and get killed by our hands, un?"

"What do you think?" Naruto rubbed his wrists as he stood up.

"Well, Itachi says that you change your mood quicker than lightning, un." Deidara gave a short laugh. "Come on, we need to get out of here."

Quickly and quietly, the two walked out of the Akatsuki lair and took off into the wilderness. Naruto ran somewhat faster than Deidara and the artist had to run extra fast just to be ahead of him.

They stopped at a river at the end of the day, when they had gotten to the border between Suna and Konoha. They had set up camp: two separate beds of leaves and a small campfire was burning in the middle. Naruto was fishing for food in the river and Deidara was making artistic creations and exploding them.

"Will you stop blowing stuff up?" Naruto glared at the Akatsuki.

"They're not stuff, un." Deidara scowled. "They're art."

"Whatever." Naruto's cerulean orbs rolled to the midnight sky.

"I suppose you think all art is everlasting, un?" Deidara assumed. "Just like my Danna, un."

"Yes, it is." Naruto said, throwing a stick in the water in hopes of catching something more than mere nautical grasses.

"Then why do people like to see fireworks, un?" Deidara asked.

"I dunno." Naruto shrugged. "They like the explosions, I guess. And because they look pretty."

"Ah ha!" Deidara shouted, causing Naruto to fall into the water.

"What now, Deidara?" Naruto glared at the older blonde.

"You said because they look pretty, un." Deidara grinned, stroking the clay bird he was holding.

"So what?" Naruto shook his head like a wet dog as he stood from the water.

"So you just admitted that it was art, un." Deidara said.

"I said because they're pretty." Naruto informed the older blonde.

"Admit it, un." Deidara's smirk grew larger. "You know you love art."

"That was _not_ art, Deidara." Naruto threw the stick in the river again.

"It's like arguing with Danna all over again, un." Deidara sighed as he sat down on the grassy bank of the river. "He thought art was everlasting, too, un."

"And so do I." Naruto said.

"Then what about this, un?" Deidara asked as he moved closer to the blonde.

Deidara's lips crashed into Naruto's, leaving the Konoha ninja completely shocked. Why in the world was Deidara doing this? Yet Naruto found that he didn't care. He wrapped his arms around Deidara's neck and Deidara's arms found Naruto's waist. The two stood kissing in front of the river for a few moments before Naruto broke apart and said, "What the hell was that for?"

"To see if that was art, un." Deidara said, running his tongue along his lips, savouring the taste of the younger blonde. "Sasori no Danna said that I was a good kisser."

"I have no comment to that." Naruto squeezed his eyes shut. "Knowing that Sasori is a guy, I have no comment."

"But you just kissed me back, didn't you, un?" Deidara smiled. "And I can tell you liked it."

"How?" Naruto opened his eyes and faced the older blonde.

"You're reaction, un. I've noticed it around the members of the Akatsuki, un." Deidara said. "Whenever Kisame doesn't like the way Itachi kissed him, Kisame will kiss back in a different sort of way. With Hidan and Kakuzu, Hidan will start the tongue war, un."

"If they liked it?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"No, that's if they didn't like it." Deidara shook his head. "If they liked it, they would have done exactly what we did, un."

"Maybe I did like it…" Naruto's voice trailed off. "But you're a guy! It's weird to kiss a guy."

"Not really." Deidara shook his head. "As long as they fit my type, I couldn't care less if they're a guy or a girl."

"It doesn't really matter." Naruto said. "I'm going to go back to Konoha tomorrow and you're going back to the lair."

"Sounds fine by me, un." Deidara said. "They're going to kill me for letting you escape, though, un…"

The two crawled onto their makeshift bed of leaves and tried to fall asleep. Naruto kept thinking about the way that Deidara had kissed him. Why did he like it? He wasn't gay, so why did he like it when Deidara had kissed him? It made no sense to Naruto. Yet he didn't really want to see Deidara go either. Some part of him wanted Deidara to stay, whilst another part said good riddance. He rolled over on his stomach and tried to fall asleep. He'd think about that in the morning.

**Was the ending really bad? It wasn't what I hoped it would be. I'm going to start a NaruDei songfic to Ain't Afraid to Die by dir en grey. That should be up by Tuesday at the very latest. I will write stories for anyone who wants anything done. just message me and let me know. review? thanks for reading!**


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